Fitting Myself into the Wrong Website

Mid-November, early morning, my younger son and I kill some time in a coffee shop while playing cards. On my way out I exchange business cards with a guy who heard me speaking Hebrew with my son. 2 hours later I get a call from this guy, he checked my website, and someone hacked it.
It was the 5th time in 2 years that my website was hacked and since he mentioned that he is a web developer I found myself venting about my website. 
You see, I love freedom and although the client, that's me, asked for a website where she can get as much independence as possible, every time I needed to change the design on my website I had to reach out to my programmer. Great for him, but not too much for me.
Suddenly I heard myself saying out loud – I really can’t stand my website anymore, I wish I could shut it down and create a new one from scratch that fits me.
Ding ding ding -  here we go– messy me is sitting in the circle and admitting to a person she doesn't even know (yet! we became good friends since then): “Hi everyone, my name is Noa and for five years. Yes! Five years I have tried to stay in a relationship with the wrong website.”

He suggested that I check a different platform and 2 hours later I started working on my new website. The best decision around my website in a while.
I must share with you that not only building my new website Dare to BE, was fun, but I was also in a flow. Flow is when you are in your best creative mindset, and everything is going with ease. What an important distinction - giving birth to my new website wasn't hard work, on the contrary, being in a flow made me enjoy this process so much that everything that was sprouting inside me around leadership coaching just burst out. So many things were boiling inside me and needed to go out and be said. With every step that I took forward, It felt right to DARE. 

Few weeks after, I connected my domain with my new website and could feel right away a huge relief.

With that big breath of freedom and liberty I would like to share with you few of the things I have learned from my website experience which I find fascinating:

When creative freedom is one of your core values, being dependent on your programmer to fix every little creative thing for you is a huge pain, and I was so frustrated. When my creative mind is on fire, no one can stop it or me. I will go with full steam, and the wait for someone else to complete their task is unbearable for me. I had to create a space of total freedom to do it my way whenever the creative mind is ready to play.

People who checked my old site asked me to share the contact info of my programmer and designer because many of them loved my website. But I hated it.  
The programmer and the designer did a great job; It wasn't their fault that I was in a bad relationship with my website. It was me. I was just in a different phase than where I am today. I wasn’t sure who I am, and what I stand for – which is very common for some new business owner – but I became attached with the wrong parameter: money. I invested much money in that website, and it felt like there is no way back. So they did their best with the information they have received from me. 
I tried to change the message every few months, but it just didn’t work. I couldn’t feel happy with the results because the website didn't represent me, it represented the profession: coaching. There was a huge dissonance between the calming website I had and the fire I am.

Today I know. Every part in my body knows, when I speak, when I write, when I network. My website is me, Noa. I can hear my intuition and heart telling me that I am on the right path. If you are there, you know what I am talking about. If not, I promise you that when you get there, you will feel that sensation too.

“You look like a huge burden is off your shoulders,” my husband told me few days after I launched my new website. “Really?” I asked, “Can you share what do you see about me?”. “You just look more relaxed and relieved” short sentences, that’s my husband.
I am still amazed by the shift of energy I feel around my business with my new website. My hope is that if my messy story about my website connects some dots for you, please please please don’t fit yourself into the wrong website, or any other messages/tools/services that are not aligned with who you are. Today my website is a mirror of me. It is real, it is passion, and it’s fully mine. Done.