A few years ago, I facilitated a workshop with a good friend. Don't you feel energized? I asked her after the workshop. She looked at me and said, "No, I actually feel drained." This was the first time I realized how impactful it is how extroverted and introverted people experience their energy with others. You see, introverted people work their energy from the inside outside; they give energy to others. They also process their thoughts internally and only then express them externally. On the other hand, extroverted people get their energy from other people and process their thoughts externally; through this external process, they understand their thoughts.
Whether you are an extroverted or an introverted, or one of them is more dominant (even a bit) than the other, in this article, I will share a few tips that can help you manage your energy better and feel that you are not drained.
Hi, I am Noa, and I work with leaders, executives, and founders of companies just like you to go beyond with their leadership and their teams. Are you ready? Let's go.
You might have heard about the Myer Briggs assessment, the MBTI. This assessment introduced Carl's Yung Idea of extroversion and introversion. Since then, a few other assessments, like the DISC assessment, engaged the extroversion/introversion energies.
I have to admit that my concern with any assessment is that it puts people in boxes that limit them from seeing more about themselves or others to see them as capable of going beyond their tendencies.
I heard clients who shared that they are introverted, and that's why they are shy about being with people. Or that extroverted take over conversations and are just too much. Or maybe they can't lead meetings because they are always so quiet, and so on and on.
Those limiting perspectives don't serve how we look at others or ourselves and get in our way of looking beyond.
So let me reframe the idea of extroversion and introversion. I see them as energies.
Energies.
Introverts use their energy from the inside out; they process their thoughts internally before they speak up. But then, after they give their total energy and presence to others, they need to recharge and be quiet. And the belief that they are shy or quiet is old school, they can speak, but they prefer the 1:1 conversation because they prefer thought-through, deeper conversation that creates connection. Now extroverted people work from the outside inside. They talk first because when they speak out loud, they process their thoughts and ideas and get a deeper understanding to move forward. When they are with others, they get energized. That's how they recharge; the more people, the more energy they have.
So how can you support yourself or the people you lead on your team to support both energies?
Introverts
Take a break at work.
Introverts lose energy in today's hybrid reality, back-to-back meetings with no time to recharge. They need time to be alone. I suggest moving your organization to 45 minutes meetings instead of 60 – you will be more efficient and give people the 15 minutes they used to walk to the next meeting room or their desk to breathe and keep going.
Conferences, retreats, team building – design quiet time; some conferences have a quiet room for introverts to read a book, journal, or go outside to be in nature. They need it.
Take a break at home. Take time to disconnect, read a book, put on some noise-canceling earphones, go on a walk, meditate, and work in the garden. Anything quiet will recharge your soul and energy.
Give people time to write their thoughts. Different people have different needs. In meetings, before you give people time to speak, ask them to take a moment to write down their thoughts and the discussed topic (maybe invite them to think about it in advance). It is a good skill for extroverts to manage their ideas by writing them down before they speak and allowing your introverted team members that need time to think through quietly before they share their thoughts. We must let people be more comfortable with crafting space for quietness and organizing their ideas before speaking. People who mainly don't express themselves will start sharing ideas and input because they feel they have time to organize their thoughts. You might even notice that if before, when you asked questions, the conversation was not rich enough, now when people have time to prepare and feel comfortable to share.
Set a time to meet with people 1:1 at work/life
Introverts love deep conversations. 1:1 can be a great way to get to know people more deeply. I love to grab a coffee and walk with a good friend (walk and talk); some like to set time to sit and work together in a coffee shop or other location. Find your way to create 1:1 opportunities to create deeper connections.
Extroverts:
Don't be alone too long - even though Extroverts can enjoy some quiet time when they feel their energy going down; it is a sign to get up and meet some friends.
A conference can be a great way to meet new people, learn with a large group, and get some people's time.
Group Learning, like group coaching, training, or even an art class, can be another way to be with others and process your thoughts and ideas with others.
Moved to a new place? Have you just moved or relocated to a new place or even started a new job? Research outside work groups of your interest or professional associations, in-person events, and learning opportunities; inside work, look for communities or employee resource groups you can be part of.
Any group setting can move to 1:1 conversations that can build deeper connections and friendships that will introduce you to new circles and group opportunities. Let's face it, for extroverts, the more, the merrier.
Extroverted or introverted, make sure to pay attention to your energy.
If you are extroverted that spend too much time alone, and you can sense that your energy is going down, maybe it's time to ask yourself, who can I meet? Or how can I create social opportunities for myself?
If you are more introverted, do you give your energy to others without recharging? A pause is a place to start and explore how to extend opportunities to recharge along your day and week.
How do you support your energy level as an extroverted or introverted person or in general? I would love it if you shared it with us in the comments.
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