Not a fan of networking? Here are Seven Reasons why you should add Networking to your year goals.

“Have you considered Networking?” How many of you made the same face my clients or others make when I ask them this question?

 I know, I know, there are rare people, somewhat like the lions in the savannah that when I ask the Networking question answer with joy and spark in the eyes: “I love networking, bring it on!” Yes, there are a few of those, but many people do not enjoy networking.

 In this article, I would like to invite you to consider a new way of approaching networking. A new intention to how you approach networking if I can suggest.

A few weeks ago one of my clients burst into a long monologue about how much they hate networking. Hate it with passion. I get it. Believe me, I do. I didn’t like to network too and I am an extrovert…Here are the main buts I hear again and again from people and how you can overcome them.

1. “But I am an introvert…”Most people who don’t like to network feel that networking is about a shallow conversation, and if you are one of the people who define themselves or the assessment defines you as an introvert you probably will say: “But I am an introvert, I am just not good with networking.”
   If you have no idea what is all the introversion extroversion conversation let me sum it up. Introverts are the ones who get energy from being alone and take time for internal processing before they talk, while extroverts get energy from being with others and process their thoughts while talking out loud. Now, some people got this all introvert idea wrong, introverts are not shy people, many of them are leaders and speaker. I see the difference between the introverts and extroverts as energy. Extroverts get energy from being with others while extroverts give to others their energy. What it means is that if you are an introvert, it is not that you are bad at networking, you just need to take time afterward to be alone and recharge since you gave a lot of your energy to others.

2. But I don’t like the feeling of selling myself When I started my coaching business I remember telling others that there is a big distinction between selling a product or service of others you believe in and selling yourself to others. This is an experience people have when they seek a job or when they need to sell their services as the owners and soulpreneur.
   When we enter a room with this mindset and the assumption that what we need to focus on is selling ourselves we feel uncomfortable. But here is one of the most important points I have learned from people who are successful in networking.
   The people who are successful in networking don’t sell ANYTHING when they talk with you they focus on listening to you so they can bring YOU value. So focus on having a conversation and get to know the other person., get curious about them, ask them questions and if you listen well you will also be able to bring them value.

3. But if I listen and ask questions how can others know what I do or looking for?Before I answer this question, let me ask you another question (this is what coaches do very well). When you come to a networking event or a meeting with another person, and the person who you are meeting with is talking about themselves for a big portion of the meeting, how does it feel?
   When I ask these questions in a big room, I always get the same answers:

   • I feel unheard and invisible.

   • I think that they are using me to get what they want, but they don’t care about me.

   • They only care about their pitch they don’t care about people.

   In the end, we all want others to listen to our wants and needs. We want to be seen, be heard, and acknowledged. Challenge yourself to keep asking questions until you learn something interesting about them and maybe even to identify what are the points that connect the two of you. This is a good way to share your story from their needs and create a deeper connection that brings value to both sides.

4. But I am better at one-on-one meetingsExactly! I am better with one on one conversations too. And this is also your goal at networking events: to identify the people at the networking event that you would like to meet with them afterward. because from what you have learned about them you can bring value to each other and even form partnerships. And yes! at times you will choose to meet just because you felt there is more to the conversation even though you know right now nothing will get out of it more than friendship, but friends can become your best referrals in the long term. Remember, networking is a long term game, don’t play the short run.

5. But if I spend so much time with a few people how can I reach as many as possible so they can help me?In the end, no one will help you if they don’t know you. People help people they know and trust. It is rare for a stranger to help you find a job, or support your business if they don’t know you. Ask yourself how likely are you to recommend someone on your running group who you meet and chat with twice a week vs. a person you met for a quick 5 minutes’ conversation in a networking event? This is why I teach my clients to attend the same groups consistently. There are many groups you can join or volunteer with; Meet Up is a great place to find your people. If you like to workout find a workout group if you have a hobby join a group of people who share your passion. If you have the time I would suggest volunteering with an organization, there is no better way to get to know people and leaders in the organization and your community than volunteering with a committee, the board, or other projects. As I mentioned earlier, networking is a long-run game, people who know you, see you every week and feel as you invested in them will invest in you and help you when the day comes because they know you, not because they met you once. Remember when you enter a networking event it is not about being a social butterfly; leaving with the largest number of business cards or meeting the most people in the room will not give you an advantage. On the contrary, it will harm you. What will bring value is your willingness to focus on giving value to others.

6. But it is tiring for me to meet so many people.If the idea of meeting so many people in a networking event sounds daunting, exhausting, and frustrating, here is a tip I share with my clients and my audience: “There is no networking police in networking events.” Let me suggest a different approach, rather than meeting all the people in the room and having short and non-meaningful conversations, go into a room and find one or two people that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation. After you had that experience, if you feel that your energy is low, go.
   Yes, I give you permission to go.
   Remember, no one is there to report your short attendance or how many people you met.

7. But I don’t need it I work in the same company for so many years…And one day you won’t, or you will not want to work in that company anymore. Here is the deal, finding a job is first and foremost about connections, whether if it is for a new opportunity in the company you work or in another organization. If we don’t take time to invest in these relationships when the day comes we will find that opportunities go to the peers that invested their time in networking with other leaders and members in the organization and beyond. Again - people help, support, refer people they know and trust if people don’t know you and trust you inside or outside the organization they will need to refer you, or introduce you or advocate for your success. Don’t wait like many of my clients until it is too late, it is NEVER too late to network even if you work in a company; Volunteer inside your company to support an initiative of interest, volunteer as a board member in an organization of interest or a professional association, join a mastermind group or join a group that can help you work on your skills like ‘toastmasters club’ (a speaking club). There are many ways to network even when you work full time.

You can see that there are many buts, but I believe and also see from the conversations with my clients and groups that the more they work on the muscle of networking the more energy they have to network with people. The more they network with the focus in mind on bringing value to others, the more opportunities and relationships they see for themselves and beyond.

Five Shorts - October - Puppies, Fall and the Wisdom of Resistance

Short 1 - The Wisdom of Resistance
Procrastination? Excuses? Laziness? Here is what I have learned from pushing back on those notions from my clients. Most of them are not lazy; when we take a moment to listen to the wisdom of resistance, it always has something wise to say. So why we don't move? Mostly it is when we don't have clarity about the purpose and meaning of what we are doing or asked to do. Until you understand the purpose or get clarity on what you want to create, sitting in front of this task and making yourself do it will move you nowhere.
Check this video to learn more about this idea.
 
 

Short 2 - Books, Books, Books
When I published my book, my desire to read returned. I promised myself to read at least one or two books each month. Right now, I am reading

• The Heart of Buddha's Teaching, Thich Nhat Hann – it was time to deep dive and understand better the foundations of Buddhism; I like how simple this book is.

• The Color of Water, James McBride - recommended by my daughter. A real story being told by the black son of an orthodox mother. Expressing a black child's identity crisis beautifully and a young man without a father in a challenging reality of courageous mothers goes against so many norms.

• Stretch, unlock the power of less by Scott Sonenshein – are you a chaser? In the last few months, I work on experiencing more joy, and one of the biggest realizations was that the question "What's Next?" needs to move away; it is time to stay and appreciate where I am and being more resourceful with what we have.

Short 3 - Is It Bad?
My older sister said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. Like any sister's conversation, we always have the kids segment: "How are the kids doing?" we ask each other. I told her that I am worried about the kids. They don't have enough social interaction. "I don't think it is such a big deal," my sister said, "our kids learn now how to be resilient; we made life too easy for them. Our life as kids was not that easy so that they will have a good lesson from this season in their life."
It made me look at my kids differently. I see my kids appreciating socializing with their friends more; they enjoy spending time with my husband and me.
I see them enjoying the virtual learning and creating their schedule for a whole day with ease. I can see each of them where the struggle is, and I challenge them to work through it rather than solve it for them. I want them to know that I am always there for them, but they are creative and resourceful, and after this experience, they will be even more.

Short 4 - Connect Two
Do you wish you had more time? Do you wish you were able to achieve more goals in your long to-do list? I don't have a long list, but I keep some goals consistently as my weekly goal. For years I have: a meeting with a friend once a week. Yep. This is a long term weekly goal. Another weekly goal is 4-5 times a week to work out and even no workout day to recharge and chill.
But what do we do when there is a new goal? How do we incorporate the new ones with the current ones? My secret is connecting two.

• Meet a friend and walk

• Be with my kids and workout

• Listen to podcasts or audiobook while cooking or doing puzzles

• I invite my clients to walk during our coaching sessions

What are your Connect Two? Share your tips.

Short 5 - Adventure Anyone?
What brings you joy? One of the things that bring me joy are little adventures. When I lived in Brooklyn, my favorite thing was to go with the kids (or alone) on an adventure. We hopped on the Subway train, and when we got off the train, the adventures had always found us. Every Sunday morning, my husband and I go on a long walk. It became our COVID tradition, but with a decision to let go of date nights, one Sunday morning, I asked him if he feels like heading to a coffee shop and get something after the walk. We got back home from the walk, got into the car, and off we went. The next week Saturday night, I saw on Instagram that a new coffee shop is opening; what's going on? So many new coffee shops that are opening during COVID19? Maybe it is a way for us to support new businesses while doing what we both love, drinking coffee? And that's how our new adventure started, every Sunday we go on a long walk and then check a coffee shop new or old that we haven't checked before. It is our special time, and it feels like an adventure. Our adventure.
Here are a few of the coffee shops we checked until now;
Here
and
Here
and
Here
For more check my Instagram Feed.

My Latest Social Media Video - Puppies?  
Check my latest social media video with my son Idan; he explains the connection between pace, progress, and puppies.

Check it here

Walking Mastermind
Walking mastermind is back, you are welcome to join us
November 6th, 10am-11am EST everyone is welcome.
RSVP Here

May Monthly Shorts - In the Nothing Something Shows Up and How to Stay Focused

What I Was Thinking About This Month?
What was I thinking? Actually nothing.
For the last week, I have tried to come up with words, sentences but... nothing, nada, not a word, not a sign not even a little comma. I was out of words. 
What was going on?
I believe that my container of creativity was almost empty. You see, I set myself a goal to send my book draft to beta readers by the first week of May. When I dove into the writing I couldn't stop, and the clock was ticking 11PM, 12AM 1AM, and I just kept going. When I sent the draft to my Beta Readers (the first readers who read an early draft and help the author to better the structure of the book) I couldn't take a pause. I had to keep moving, I had a few more big projects to take care of. It was one of those weeks where I felt like a toothpaste tube, those tubes I keep squeezing and squeezing to get out what's left because I don't have another toothpaste in the house. But as you know there is always something left, it is just the way it felt as nothing left.  
Still, in the woods of nothing I have learned that something will show up. When I stop resisting the emptiness or my want to deliver results and give in to the nothing something shows up. When I give in I look for ways to get inspired so I can refill the creativity container and this system never let me down. Last week, when I spoke to a group one of the attendees reminded me that the best ideas come up not in the meeting room when we force action, but most of our best solutions show up when we let go of the action and connect with the being. For me, it is when I take a shower or go on a run, or when I read an inspiring book, or listen to an inspiring podcast or TED talk. 
Next time when you try to make yourself work or create, remember that in the nothing something will show up. So how can you invest your time differently rather than keep working on nothing?

Focus
Focus, when you zoom in and boom! you see results and you feel good about yourself. Focus became such a challenge for so many of us. So many reasons so many distractions. Sometimes I feel that all I need is to see is a butterfly to get distracted. This is why with the years I developed a few different practices that move me more and more to be focused. There are still those days that I am all over the place, but I realize that since my life can be chaotic at times (not because of others, but because of me  - I would probably get bored with doing the same thing every day, or have the same pace a day after day so to make it interesting I shuffle things around). But Since I am being asked this question a lot there are a few practices that I became very rigid to help me stay focus as much as possible, especially when I write.
Here are my top three - feel free to share with me what are your practices. I always enjoy getting your emails or comments.

1. Close your email and social media. If you need to knock down a project, set it in your calendar and while working on it close all other channels. Allow yourself time to disconnect so you can connect with self. Some people now even put their smartphone closed in a closet.

2. Social media - stop checking your social media ego (how many likes etc every other minute) set time twice a day to check it out - put it in your calendar.

3. Scan your inbox and answer first to emails that bring money, other emails can wait (unless there is an opportunity for income). As service-oriented I am, I am learning that some people will be okay receiving an answer later on. That's okay. Don't get me wrong - I don't ignore people, but I prioritize where my time goes first and if you are a giver like me it is easy to fall into the helping everyone else and look at yourself at 4pm and say: "I didn't do anything today..."

Hope it helps - let me know if you would like more tips that work for me. Now always what works for me, might not work for you - the least you can try but please be consistent. Trying it for a day or two is not enough.


What have I listened to lately?
After dinner, my husband and I like to clear out the living area from the house residents who are under 18 years old and just relax with some good music. A few weeks ago my husband put an album of a guy I haven't heard his music before and I really liked it. A few days later I was working in my favorite coffee shop and in the background, I heard a song that pulled my attention. One of my new little doings is to collect ideas of musicians/music I can listen to while writing. So whenever I hear a song I really like I Shazam it (Shazam is an app that identifies the media playing around you, and gives you full info) Guess what? when I Shazamed the song it was the same guy: Andrew Bird.Check him out. 
 

My Most Watched Video Last Month
 on Social Media 
One of the most watched 'On the Run' videos in April was about our want to Defeat Behaviors or limiting thoughts/emotions that get in our way. We don't like barriers, we like a quick fix. I believe that part of the reason that we think we can get rid of some behaviors is the phrase: "let go" this phrase is so rooted in our cultural conversation that it is as we believe that by saying it we will fix the others' problems.
Can we get rid of them? no, but we can shorten the time they stay with us.
My perspective is that awareness is the first step of moving toward a sustainable change. When we know what we didn't know we are out of the awarelLESS state, as I call it. Knowing is as we say: "I see you behavior/thought/emotion" and for some reason the more we see them the less time they stay to hang out with us.
Click here to check out the video 
For more inspirational shorts and on the run videos check my social media feeds: @NoaRCoach (LinkedIn/twitter/FB/Instagram)



Noa @Next Events - Come and Say Hi :-)

5/17 Monthly Women Walking Mastermind. 
The Women Walking Mastermind group is getting a lot of great vibes from the community and we would love for you to join us this Friday, May 17th 9AM-10:30AM - feel free to come with your workout/casual clothes. 

If you do NOT like to network this is your group. If you like to network but looking for a place to have a meaningful conversation we created a system that shifts the focus from networking to connection. 
Why we do it the way we do it?  Why we do it differently than in other groups? 
There is a lot of thinking behind it - we explain everything before we start :-) 

This month topic is Limiting vs Limitless vocabulary. 
PLEASE RSVP HERE

Essentialism - Easy Doesn’t Mean Yes

Focus. If you live in our ADD generation, many of us are struggling with how to keep ourselves focused. I see two levels of how I can keep myself focused. The first level is how to commit to myself to do what I promised to do, and the second one that I am going to focus in this post is how do I focus on my primary purpose and its goals without being all over the place.

I think that being a leader and having my own business open the door for me to be mindful of what and how I do things and what are my thoughts and emotions about every step I take (or don’t take). You need to deal with so many fears, demons, and challenges and for each one of us they are different, and since not doing results in no money, or no clients/people who support your vision – it is very easy to see when you are not showing up fully even though you want to. 

So here is a fascinating lesson I have learned in the past two years around keeping myself focused or being all over the place and not following my desired path.

What I have learned in the past two years relates to a gift, yes, a gift that I have. For me to take on a big project, a complicated project, something that I have never done before is really fun. In my former life, I was a project manager and change management consultant. I didn’t need to have complicated workflows and documents to run projects, I have had a simple workflow, and most of the other components were in my head, and I remembered EVERYTHING – yes it is crazy, but this is my gift. It is easy for me to orchestrate and run the project and then to bring on board the people that will join me to do their part. I am totally at flow when I execute a complicated project. So this is one of my biggest gifts. I can tackle complicate projects easily. And here is the BUT.... What I have learned is that my gift is also what stands between my desire to stay focused on what is important to me and my fear to be all over the place. 

What I have noticed is that whenever someone reaches out to me and asked if I can help and take on a complicated project, my answer was YES!
 
But then one day I set with my whole life projects, I made a long list and realized that I said YES to too many projects that are easy for me. When I looked even deeper, the sad news was that none of the projects on the list served what was important to me (no matter if it is in life or business). 
My YES was to “EASY”, easy to pet my ego.  What I mean is that if I will be very honest with you, saying yes makes me feel good that I can do it easily and I can save others' world at that moment. Of course, it serves them and it also serves my ego, but does it serve my goals?
And that’s when I STOPPED.
Don’t get me wrong; there are still moments when it feels like I can be the only one that can save the day and my first tendency is to say: “Yes, I can do it”, but I have learned slowly to control the four words and STOP. Then I ask myself: “What is the purpose of saying YES?” If it is only because it is easy for me, that’s not a yes. If it is to pet my ego, it is defiantly not serving me nor others. So now my focus is to say YES only to projects that serve my purpose. So next time ask yourself: Am I doing it because it is EASY for me, or am I choosing to say YES because it serves the goals that are the purpose of what is important for me. And YES it is okay to say NO.
 

Decluttering Your Life and Head Space and How it Related to the Fall

View fullsize

Picture Noa Ronen

Before we moved to the US we lived in a country with two main seasons: Summer and a short Winter. This is why I enjoy living in an area with 4 seasons.

"Look how beautiful the leaves are!", I tell my kids, "look! look! at this beautiful tree, I have never seen such a bright red color in my life!", "Hey! I have to stop and take a picture of this Magnolia's flowers". The kids got used to it with the years, they will shrug and ignore daily comments about nature, sometimes they might even ask politely if I can stop repeating the same sentences every time we cross the same tree, oh well... I get them they grew up into this reality.
This is why when we moved from New York City to North Carolina which is warmer, I had no big expectations for the Fall season. But when Fall happened, it really happened. 

Now, living in a wooded area where trees are everywhere, it shifts how you look at the Fall season. Every day I drove or walked outside I have noticed that colors were changing constantly and Mother Nature invited me to keep looking with enthusiasm, to keep my eyes wide open and ask myself what Nature is going to share with me next???

Before I go back to leaves, colors, and Fall I want to share with you something about my relationship with the Fall season. Every year, when the weather is getting cooler when we can wear cute jackets and scarves, while orange is everywhere it brings joy into my life. For me, the Fall is a time of inspiration, the colors around me bring energy and creativity. But, there is also that heavy feeling that winter is almost here, the weather is going to get really cold, people will start dancing the slow dance and the brown color is going to rule everywhere.

But this year something shifted. One morning my husband was looking out of our bedroom window and called me to join him. "Look!" he said, "there is more light in our room.” He was right, behind our house there was a little forest and we both realized that the naked trees allowed the light to get access to our backyard, now we can even see the kids if they want to play in the forest. We could see.

It made me think about a different situation in our life, when people have so much clutter in their internal and external space they can't see clearly, but when they declutter their head and/or life space clutter they can see things with more clarity, there is more space to organize thoughts and emotions.  Maybe, like Winter to me, it can bring a new perspective and help see things differently.
So what are you choosing not to see in your Winter?