Lean Back - Create Space for Yourself and Others to Think

Transcript

Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, invited us to lean in. I challenge you to lean back. When we lean back, we create Space to think better and be better listeners. 

Hey, I am Noa Ronen and I'm an executive coach. And I work with executives, leaders, and founders like you to go beyond. So let's go. 

Slack, WhatsApp, Google Chat, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, text messages, remote school, workout, healthy food. That's a lot. 

I don't have time to think. 

I am reactive all the time. 

I am tactical instead of being a strategic thinker. 

Being an executive and leader and human, in general, these days is not easy. There is so much noise. From back-to-back meetings all day long, from 7 am to 7 pm. And questions for the different channels, we don't have time to think anymore. 

There is too much noise. 

Noise, it seems that we don't know how to sit still anymore and be with the quiet. 

Think about it. When you sit in the meeting room with peers or your direct reports and you ask a question and there is that awkward silence in the room, someone will jump right away if it's not you to save the day and say something. 

When you sit with your direct reports or peers and you ask them if they have an idea how to solve the problem, and they say, "Well, I don't know." Most of us have the tendency right away to jump up with solutions, rather than giving them a moment to process and find the solutions on their own. So lean back. 

Leaning back is not just to create Space for you to think. Leaning back is also for the people you work with. When you lean back, you take a moment to reflect and learn what worked and what didn't work. When you lean back, you talk less and you listen more. When you lean back, you have time to look beyond the little things and think beyond your frame. 

Do you need a moment, a reminder how to lean back? It's actually pretty simple. All you need is a chair of your preference. It can also be a sofa, and something you can to put your feet on. It's great. 

So let's do it together. I'm going to count down. 3,2, 1. Lean back. 

Actually, it feels really good. You can see more when you lean back. 

Just lean back.

If you liked this video and you want to dig in to learn more about beyond leadership, please subscribe to this channel. (and share with your friends) Just here.

Article

Slack, Teams, WhatsApp, google chat, emails, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, text messages, zoom, zoom, zoom.
You must speak up in meetings
You should be present with your people and stop multi-tasking
You should be less in the weeds and think more strategiclly

But how can you do that with the constant noise in the background???? 

 So yes, I hear a lot from executive clients and leaders words like: overwhelmed, busy but excited, stressed, and even burnout. And that’s before we even started to talk about life, or promotion or an organizational change.

It made me think about Space; today I learned that there was no space in between words many years ago. Only in the 7th-century were people introduced to commas and periods. For leaders to think, be present, and be more strategic, they have to create Space to think. Not just for themselves but also others. 

 Leaders need Space to think about questions like what is their leadership purpose? Or who are the people they need for their team, and what strengths do they have? Or what can make their teamwork more innovative or scalable, or efficient? Or why something they tried to influence didn’t work? Or what brings frustration?

Space

Leaders need Space to help their people grow.
When they learn to listen without interrupting, they can ask questions instead of giving answers.
When the leader creates Space for questions, they help their people share what they need and how they need it, and mostly the need is not for the leader to solve the problem.
Space allows both sides to process without rushing it.
In big meetings, Space creates room for everyone to share and engage.
When there is no space, mostly, one person is speaking and sucking the energy in the room. 

1.    Lean Back in meetings.

 Some of us speak too much in meetings. Lean back. Let others talk. Ask the questions, and be curious to listen to what people answer. When people don’t answer, count to ten and then count again. The problem is that we are expected to answer questions fast in today's world and be reactive. So many times when we have asked a question, the mental inner experience whispers if I don’t have an answer right away, it means that “I don’t know,” but most people have the answers; they just need a little more time to – think.

For that, we need Space.

2. Lean back when they ask you questions 

Our ego loves when people come to us for answers. It feels good.
But remember, the more you give people the answers, the more they will lean on you. 
The higher you go, the more you will need to delegate. 
Help your team to feel comfortable sitting with the “I don’t knows,” and create Space by a few simple questions like: “what do you think?” or “how would you approach it?” or “who do you think can be a good resource to learn more about this topic?”

 This is a good skill for your team to learn how to find the answers independently. 

3.    Listening with curiosity 

One of the best ways of leaning back is listening by asking questions. 
Questions create Space for you to listen to how your people think.
Questions create Space for you to listen to what your people never shared with you.
Questions create Space for them to talk and for you to learn more about what they know, what their strengths are, and maybe areas they need coaching, mentoring, or professional development. 
The problem is that when we shift to listening and asking questions, the voice inside us wants others to follow our solutions and show others that we are right. When the questions we ask lack curiosity, we ask questions that focus on leading others to the “right solution” we have in mind. What can we do? 

Let go of our right solution. Let go of the answer.  

The focus is not on the right solution but on learning how your people think and helping them find solutions on their own.
Leaning back, listening, asking questions, and being comfortable
with moments of quiet not only help you slow down and have focus time to think they also help your team think. 

So lean back.

Welcome to my project 21 X 21

 21 videos I filmed in 2021

 Why? Because it was covid and most of us were still in pretty much of a remote life, I needed a challenge that would inspire me to stay creative and stretch myself.

 In the past few years, I collected a list of topics from my conversations with my leader and executive clients. The topics that I could see that when we discuss their eyes spark, and something clicks. So maybe I can expand it beyond the 1:1 or group conversation? This brought me to a project of 21 videos, So hopefully, you will find value in those short videos, and if you do – please share with that one friend (or more) that can get value from them too. Thanks!!

Cheers

Noa

The Power of Morning Routine

Focus. The center of interest, our ability to pay particular attention to someone or something and see clearly.

I was a machine of getting things done. If you gave me a complicated project, my brain would know how to break it down and make it simple. Like a photographer who looks at the view and knows in their head what the picture should look like, it was as if I aimed my camera lens while squinting my eyes as narrowly as possible so I could see all the steps clearly in my head.
Then one day the focus flew out the window. Having my own business taught me that it is so much easier to deliver when I am part of the team. But working on my own? I lost my ability to commit and see results.

How come?
Like many other skills that business owners must learn to become better at what they do, I did a deep dive to help myself understand what some actions I could take in order to overcome my challenge with staying focused and on track were.

One of the things that showed up repeatedly was a morning routine: from Warren Buffet to Ariana Huffington, many successful people had created a morning routine that would feed their energy and help them stay focused.

 When I brainstorm, with my clients, ways to help them stay focused, I always bring up the morning routine. As Tim Ferriss says, “If you win the morning, you win the day.”

Think less about the time and more about the return on your investment. Yes, some people have a three-hour morning routine: they wake up early, drink water, do a hardcore workout, and then meditate for at least 20-30 minutes. Some even pray, shower in cold water, journal. Many will write down their goals for the day and add on gratitude journaling and then move on to breakfast unless they follow intermediate fasting.

Some will do their emails from home quietly while others will not touch their emails until later in the day. The morning routine is their personal development, self-care and it helps make sure their energy is high and they are focusing on their vision and goals.

 If, like many others, including me, you have a need to boost your energy and want to feel less distracted and more focused, let’s review a few of the steps you can take to explore what can be your morning routine.

Waking Up
That was one of the hardest steps for me. I was (and still am) a night owl. On average, I slept five hours a night. With three little kids, I was tired all the time. It was fine when I lived, worked, and walked in the Big Apple. When we moved to the suburban way of living, I attended a wellness workshop and learned the sad news that sleeping less than six or seven hours not only screwed up the way my body burned the fat when I worked out, but it was also dangerous to my children. You see, driving with so little sleep was scientifically as if I was driving after drinking two glasses of alcohol! That was enough motivation to say goodbye to almost 40 years of late-night work. 
Some might say that to be successful with what you do you should wake up at 5 am, even 4am. And maybe you are one of the lucky ones who hop out of bed when the alarm clock strikes four. If so, congratulations. But it shouldn’t feel like getting up is the worst part of your day. Remember, your morning routine is about setting the tone for the rest of the day. You need to wake up at the right time for you. The key here, however, is to stick to that wake-up time every single day of the week, including the weekend, and to get at least seven hours of sleep.

 Cheat Sheet: Getting Ready
Getting ready for the day can be more efficient when you take a few moments to prepare for your next day the night before. Set an alarm clock half an hour before you want to get to bed. Some people will even need more than one hour to transition to bed. On the nights I know I will start my morning with a run or another workout routine, I will make sure my workout clothes are waiting for me, ready to go. Seeing the workout clothes in the morning is a commitment to the night-Noa who laid them out the night before and who I will stay accountable to in her plan because I know how easy it is for me to get off track. Staying committed to my night goals keeps my energy up, I know I am aligned with what is important to me: I walk the talk, and I am a woman of my words.

 Mindfulness Routine:
Focus is about feeling centered, it is about being mindful and aware of your choices, and beyond anything else, it is about being present with what needs to get done and with others.

Mindfulness, in a nutshell, is the actions we take to become more aware and present with ourselves.
The list to practice mindfulness is long:

• Walk

• Run

• Yoga

• Writing

• Playing (box game) or an instrument

• Creative work

• Meditation

• Praying

• Working in the garden

• Journaling

• Gratitude

• Nutrition and drinking water 

Different people find value in different activities. This is where experimentation comes into the picture. My approach, after speaking with people who teach meditation, yoga and other mindfulness practices, is that it is less about the time and more about the consistency. But first, you have to learn what works for you and what doesn't. Like with food allergies or sensitivities, when people limit what they eat, after a few weeks they can add it back and see, by tracking what they eat every day, how they feel mentally and physically, and whether some symptoms are back. I suggest doing the same when you engage in mindfulness practices into your day. See how those activities impact your physical health, your emotional well-being, and your goals for the day. For example, if you choose to wake up every day at 6:30, and then meditate for 2 -5 minutes, track how your days look when you engage in these activities and how they look when you don’t. For example: How is your day when you engage in the activity? Does meditation help you sleep better or be more present with your work? Are you more focused and less emotional during the day after clearing your thoughts and emotions through journaling? Are you more energized when you work out? If you do miss a day of your morning routine, don’t be upset. Use this as an opportunity to track any difference that occurs when you remove whatever activities you were practicing.

Goal Setting
The vicious cycle of emails. No matter how hard you try to reduce your emails, there are always more. It is so easy to distract yourself and start your day with emails. Before you open your inbox, take a moment to look at your day and set intentions for the day and week. What are one to three goals you would like to achieve today or this week? Having a shortlist of goals forces you to stay focused. Long lists are great to see the big picture, but on a daily basis choose between one to three you would like to accomplish and stick with them. Having these goals written down and planned out is going to allow you to stay focused, feel more productive, and motivated- and, in the long run, accomplish more.

 Experiment to Find Your System
There is no right way to find your perfect morning routine. It took me almost two years to find mine. First I had to work hard to switch my internal clock from a night owl to early bird and only then I was able to add on. I don’t need to work out first thing in the morning; I didn’t find it to be of much value for keeping me focused throughout the day. However, I do need a certain amount of specific workout routines throughout the week in order to feel good, feel more energetic, and to stay focused. Others will find working out in the morning to be the most important component to make their day perfect for them.
At the end of the day, we are different people with different needs. What makes me stay focused might not be of value to you. Be willing to experiment until you find what works for you.
Most importantly, the key here is to start your morning by setting a tone for what you want your day to look like, as well as to take care of yourself before you dedicate the rest of your day to your work, your family, or whatever else is consuming your attention.